Saturday, October 02, 2004


Today is one of those numb and energy-less days where I don't feel like a whole lot of living, loving, or longing is going on. I'm mostly just trying to hang on to memories of what life feels like when I'm really alive. Strange how quickly one can go from soaring to crawling. Is that why Israel was so quick to grumble and complain in the desert, only days after seeing a miracle? Were they like me?

I guess what I'm really wondering is this ... Is it ok to have so-so days? Or is it always an indication that something is spiritually wrong? Is it even possible to feel really alive EVERY day? I worry, on days like today, that I won't ever remember how to get past this 'dead' feeling. Worse yet, I worry that I won't ever have the energy to even try. Then again, I've felt this way before ... lots of times. So that in itself is a little bit of consolation. This, too, will probably pass. But why did it come in the first place?