Monday, February 20, 2012

mid-life crisis?

I just found this unpublished draft of a post, written seven years ago. Looking that far back on a mid-life crisis makes me feel old, but I will say from this vantage point that it really was a crisis, and I really am through it, and I've found my niche. Maybe I had my crisis early, just to get it out of the way. Maybe there's another one coming. Only time will tell.

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After surfing the web a while in search of a definition, I've given up. Some say mid-life crisis happens between 40 and 50 years of age when a person suddenly wonders who they are. Some say there's no such thing as a 'mid-life crisis'. Another stated that it's a period of personal identity crisis that happens around 40 years of age, give or take 20 years.

I'm 27. It's unlikely that this is a full-blown mid-life crisis that I'm experiencing. Call it what you want. But the dominant feelings are restlessness and a questioning of what direction I'm heading. Having chosen a vocation, I find myself constantly wondering when I can pursue my true calling in life, the purest expression of who God has made me to be.

But where does obedience fit in? I have this nagging suspicion that God's first priority may not be a fast track to self-actualization. So how can I tell?